Play Date Parties...With Something for Mommy!
Hi Coastal Mommies!My name is Teresa Howard and I'm a stylist with Stella ... [more]
My 9 yo has her mind made up!
Help! My 9 year old daughter has her mind made up that she doesn't like specific foods, although she has never tasted them. She WILL NOT taste a single vegetable or fruit (other than bananas). We've tried bribing her, punishing her, agreeing to taste things we don't like, etc. Nothing works.
She drinks some fruit juices but her main menu consists of chicken nuggets, corn dogs, hot dogs, cheese pizza, cheese pizza bites, cheese pizza bagels, cereal, chocolate milk, sweet tea, potato chips, McDonald's hamburgers, and lots of bread. We've tried giving her every vitamin on the drug store shelves (I'm not exagerating). She won't take ANY of them.
She's not a bratty child. Meaning, she doesn't pitch a fit or act up. She just says, "I don't like it" and refuses to put it in her mouth.
We are at wits end. Since Diabetes runs in my husband's family, we feel she has a huge chance of becoming diabetic. Our doctors have given us all the advice they have but nothing helps. If anyone out there has been through this situation, please let me know how you've handled it.
I don't want to hear, "If she were my child, I'd..." because that's not how it works. We've heard that from everyone in the family and especially those who don't have children. Please share advice that you KNOW works.
Thank you so much :)
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I get that accusation from my
I get that accusation from my mother!! She doesn't think I feed her right. But I try. And if you see her you can tell that she's well fed. But it doesn't help when I try and make her - but she knows that she has the option of getting something else.
@kellybean - I really like the idea of the fruitables. I had not heard of those before!
Not quite the same thing, but
Not quite the same thing, but my 2 yr old refuses most fruits & veggies too.
Does she like yogurt? That's a good way to get fruits in. Also, if she drinks juice you may want to try Fruitables by Adam & Eve(?). It has both fruits and veggies in it. There are some kinds of vegan cheese that are made with veggies too. Have you tried the chips made of sweet potatos and beets? They're pretty good!
Good luck!!
Oh my! She sounds just like
Oh my! She sounds just like my 9 year old. Except for the fact that mine will like something one week but if try to get her to eat it the next week - then she doesn't like it anymore.
What's even more aggravating is that my husband will want to go out and buy her something different to eat.
I hope someone can give both of us some advice.
exactly!
Do you find yourself feeling like a short order cook at dinner time? It doesn't matter what I cook for dinner, I still have to make something different for her. Thanksgiving dinner is depressing. While everyone else is enjoying turkey and dressing and all the fixins, she is having a hotdog and potato chips. Not only is it aggravating. It's embarrassing because people accuse me of not feeding her properly.
My only experience
How did this get so long...sorry!
My only experience with something like this is second-hand. A friend of mine had a pretty rough marriage and ended up getting a divorce when her daughter was about 5.
Over the next couple of years it seemed like Merideth got pickier and pickier about eating. Her mom at first did all the standard things to get her to eat...it became a major issue. Really the problem got so bad that one time I remember her giving Meri icecream for dinner because she was just desperate to get calories in the girl. She had picked her way through breaksfast, came home from school with her lunch uneaten and was about to refuse dinner. Mac and Cheese even! But she ate the ice cream fine.
Finally her mom felt like she had to get help and went as far as seeing a family therapist (their family had a lot of other issues going on too). Her therapist recommended really backing off from the food issue. She said it had become such a charged power issue that the girl was basically starving herself as a form of control. What went into her mouth was the only thing she really had a say in. Although was not a trouble-making kid AT ALL. Also, she supposedly got a positive charge from sweets that she was using that as a way of self-comforting. Which was understandable considering the chaos of her family. She also had pretty strict grandparents and was a real obedient, pleaser at school.
Anyways, it really hit my friend hard. She made a huge transformation in her family, really giving Meri lots of space and started watching how much she corrected and (honestly) nagged her. She went from high conflict mom to 'we have nothing to disagree about' mom.
It probably helped that she was a single mom with no other kids, because she could change the way they ate without disrupting the whole family. She said they started eating basically buffet style, and she stayed really casual and nonchalant about food and would make a point not to watch what her daughter ate or didn't eat. Which she said was hard. She'd just put out a nice selection of food at mealtime and stayed pleasantly aloof about the whole thing.
I think it took awhile until my friend felt like things were getting better. And at first she said she could tell her daughter was looking for attention about food. And when things got stressful in their lives, all bets were off and she'd get super picky again. But I do know that it was a really positive time for them.Of course related to way more than the food thing.
I'm sorry to post such an extreme story. Like I said, there was A LOT of chaos in that little gal's life. But I've always remembered what she went through and how much being a picky eater was related to needing a feeling of control.
Wow!
I think you've hit something! I'm definitely going to discuss this with my husband. We're always making a big deal of it (especially the grandparents). Thank you so much for that information :)